When one puts an effort to be aware of oneself, all our moods, thoughts and issues come to be seen. Anger, frustrations, irritations, elation .. all ..
one also observes a certain pattern to it. This is the same way one is going to react, we know the 'memory chunks' from where many of the reactions arise. There is repetitiveness, and although it is a very different and new world, it is sort of tiring and also boring. And one also wouldn't know if that pattern is actual, or is mind hyping up some issues...
So this is also a form of interpretation. This observation would, instead of releasing, would strengthen our impressions.
This form of awareness is on the background of our impressions and the conditions on which our self the personality has been built. So, one needs to be aware of the self together with the moods and patterns. To be aware of the phenomena, and the activity of interpretation at the same time.
This is to be aware without any background, any base case. It is to be instantaneous- awareness of the moods as well as the self- or otherwise another pattern would form during meditation.
It is to say that the past meets the present and stops. That is the actuality.
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